Looking Back

This photo was taken on Halloween 1996.  In some ways, it seems 1996 was just yesterday and, in other ways, it seems like one hundred years ago.  I remember Pierce sitting beside me the entire time I sewed this costume - making certain that his "uniform" was "authentic" enough.  And, boy, did he think he was something as we toured the neighborhood, visitng family and friends on Halloween night.


He broke his arm at the school playground during recess when he took a nasty fall from the monkey bars.  Pierce, being Pierce, stated that the cast on his arm just made his impression of a civil war solider all the better because he truly looked like he had been wounded in battle.


I still can't believe my baby boy is now 21 year old man.  Rather than wanting to sit on my lap, he looks down to speak to me.  I can no longer carry him on my hip, he carries me around the house when he is in a joking mood. 


I wonder where the time went?

Giving Thanks

One thing that I ponder quite frequently is how exactly do you thank God for all the blessings He has freely given us?  I am quite certain that if I sat down with pen and paper in hand and began writing a list of every good thing He has given me I would be writing until I drew my last breath!

Somehow a simple "thank you" just doesn't seem to be enough.  Is being aware of those blessings and acknowledging that all good things come from Him with a wondrous and grateful heart enough?  I don't know.  What I do know is that, without Him, we are lost.  And I acknowledge that I am unworthy of every single blessing he has, amazingly, chosen to bestow on me.

Today my home will be filled with my family, friends, good food, fellowship, laughter and love.  I hope your Thanksgiving (and every other day) is full of love, family and blessings as well. 

A Care Package for Pierce

I just can't resist sending care packages to Pierce at school.  The Photographer laughs and shakes his head, saying it must be a "momma thing".  I suppose it is.  But mid-terms are on his upcoming schedule and he is studying like mad, in addition to the various student activities he is involved with. 

What's a momma to do?  Peanut Butter Fudge.  Individually wrapped and placed in an amusing, antique tin.  Shipped along with a current copy of his favorite magazine, a gift card to one of the local Mexican restaurants and a note card from Momma.  Just to let him know that I am with him in spirit, am certain that he will ace his mid-terms and that I love him dearly.

This Face

Pierce in Late Afternoon Light

A Noble, Beautiful Soul

The stately German Shepherd

Protective, bold and smart,
Looked into my eyes one day
And quickly stole my heart.

Courageous and endearing,
A favorite of its breed,
So proud and yet so loving,
A steadfast friend indeed.

Caring disposition,
Faithful to the core-
If you have a German Shepherd’s love,
You cannot want for more.

~ Author Unknown

My beloved Bear passed away last week. 

He was my White Knight, my faithful companion, my protector and the canine love of my life.  My heart is shattered and I feel as if there is a gaping hole in my soul.

We were at the breeder's and I was eyeing another pup when this white bundle of fur jumped up and "tapped" me on the knee.  I picked him up and he "kissed" me on the cheek then looked directly into my eyes as if to say "you belong with me".  I immediately fell head over heels in love and informed the Photographer we had found our puppy.  

We brought him home when he was just 7 weeks old and from that day forward he was by my side.  He slept beside my bed, he sat at my feet during dinner, he lay beside me when I gardened. Family and friends were incredulous that I was never afraid to be here at the farm by myself.  There was no need to be frightened because I wasn't alone - I had my bodyguard.  He never let me out of his sight and protected me from snakes, wildlife and strangers, asking only for my adoration (and an occasional treat) in return.  He could be ferocious when necessary but would play ever so carefully with children, watching over them the entire time to be certain they stayed safe. 

I am eternally grateful that I was home with him when the time came and that the end was swift and painless.  The Photographer remarked that I was holding Bear when he entered our home and I was holding him when he left us.  

Baron Nickolas von Claws VI

1998-2011

A noble, beautiful soul and gentle giant.

The finest dog I have ever had the pleasure of belonging to. 

Asking For Prayer

The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.

He maketh me to lie down in green pastures:

He leadeth me beside the still waters.

He restoreth my soul:

he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name’s sake.

Yea, though I walk

through the valley of the shadow of death,

I will fear no evil:

for thou art with me;

thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.

Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies:

thou anointest my head with oil;

my cup runneth over.

Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me

all the days of my life:

and I will dwell in the house of the Lord for ever.

~ Psalm 23

One of my friends lost his 18 year old son yesterday afternoon.  I am sure that Justin had no concern about getting into that car - figuring this drive to town would be like any other.  And now he is gone, leaving behind his Daddy, Momma and sister to cherish his memory.

The family is devastated and I am heartbroken for them.  Please keep this family in your prayers.

From Julia's Kitchen

I recently discovered that The French Chef program is airing once again on the cooking channel (2pm daily Monday through Friday in my area).  Now, I freely admit that I adore the movie "Julie and Julia" and even went so far as to purchase the book (which was promptly thrown into the trash before I could even get a third of the way through - utter trash in my humble opinion).  But I have loved Julia Child since I was a small child watching her on PBS with my momma.  (We also watched Justin Wilson and Nathalie Dupree.  I think I would eat everything Nathalie cooks - not sure I would eat anything Justin made but it sure was fun to watch him)! 

But seeing Julia on PBS made me think, even as a 5 year old, that I could probably cook too.  She was so funny (I loved to listen to her talk) and she seemed as if she was having the time of her life while whipping up Boeuf Bourguignon or Champignons a la Grecque.  My momma noticed my fascination and soon I was in the kitchen helping her with dinner preparations.  So I guess I owe my love of all things culinary to Julia Child and my momma.

I was browsing through the local used book store last week and happened upon "From Julia Child's Kitchen".  Which is a compilation of the recipes she cooked during the 72 French Chef tv shows (color tv, not black and white) as well as a few of her recipes that have been re-worked from her previous cookbooks to include the use of the newest kitchen gadgets such as the "electric super blender food processor".  What a treasure!  And only $2!

I foresee many "french inspired" dinners on my table in the near future!

A Growing Jedi

Relaxing on the patio wall

We took Yoda to the vet last Friday for a checkup.  She weighed in at 14 ounces - large enough to be wormed but not quite big enough for any shots yet.  This is not my usual vet.  My "normal" vet is much closer to my home but he was the doctor that the family who owned the momma cat goes to and he ended up with the kittens.  Which were being fostered when we got Yoda.

The vet and staff absolutely adore Yoda - kisses and whispered sweet nothings were in abundance.  And the doctor refuses to accept any payment whatsoever for the medical care.  He says that most people wouldn't have taken on such a small and needy kitten.  He stated that she is lucky to be alive and to have us caring for her.  Of course, we feel we are the blessed ones and I told him I was more than willing to pay for her care. He flatly refused.

As you can imagine, I will be taking all my pets to him from this day forward as well as referring all my friends and family who have pets to him from now on.

Meet Yoda

My telephone rang yesterday while we were getting ready to go to my momma's for a Mother's Day cookout.  It was my sister calling to inform me that her neighbor, Diane, was in possession of a few kittens.  Apparently, the momma cat was killed by a car and had given birth to a litter of 5 just two weeks earlier.  Diane works for a veterinarian and often fosters animals.  She has been providing loving care to these babies for a few weeks now - bottle feeding them until they were old enough for solid food.

Knowing how devastated Pierce is over the loss of Shea, my sister thought we may want one of the kittens.  Pierce and I drove to Diane's and agreed immediately that this teeny, tiny ball of furry love was coming home with us.  Pierce took one look at him and said "He looks like Yoda - that's what we'll name him". 

Isn't he adorable?  He is the runt of the litter.  At 4 weeks old, he weighs only 8 ounces and is no bigger than Pierce's hand!

No animal could ever replace Shea in Pierce's heart - but Yoda has helped to ease the pain quite a bit.  Our home is once again filled with the sound of Pierce's laughter as he watches Yoda explore the house. It touches me deeply to see how tenderly he is caring for our newest family member.

May The 4th Be With You

Soon the rebellion will be crushed and young Skywalker will be one of us
~ The Emperor, Star Wars

 

Pierce is a die hard Star Wars fan and informed me last night that today is "May The 4th Be With You" day.  A rather cute variation of May The Force Be With You.

For the past several years, he and his friends have dressed for the day as a Star Wars character.  Lots of planning go into their costumes and lots of giggles ensue afterwards.

This photo was taken last Halloween, when, of course, he dressed up as a Star Wars character.  He has university finals scheduled for today so, after much debate, he decided against wearing the cloak to class.  Instead he will be donning a t-shirt featuring Darth Vader and the caption "Who's Your Daddy?"

Shea



We lost one of our cats last week.  We have many coyotes in the area and I am always careful to make certain that all my animals are safely inside at night.  Shea had been snuggling with me on the sofa until Pierce came into the room.  All animals have their favorite humans and Pierce belongs to Shea the same way I belong to Bear.  Shea jumped off the sofa and followed Pierce upstairs.



I awoke during the night when I heard a cat scream.  Thinking gratefully that all my animals were safe, I went back to sleep.  The next afternoon, Pierce came through the house to ask if I had seen Shea.  Not since he went upstairs with you last night I replied.  Pierce gave me a strange look.  He didn't follow me upstairs last night, he said, I only gave him some milk and he decided to lay in the window seat.  My heart sank - I knew then what had happened.

The only thing we can guess is that Shea ran out of the house when the Photographer took the dogs out before bed and didn't come back in with them.  He has run off before but has never been gone for more than 2 days.  

Pierce is beside himself with worry and has taken the dogs out every day to search for Shea.  He is convinced that what I heard was Shea fighting with a raccoon.  Shea is half Main Coon - a hulking 25 pound boy that has held his own while fighting racoons in the past.  Pierce insists that Shea is only lying low, nursing his wounds until he can return home. But I can see the desperation and the doubt in his eyes.

I am mourning him as well.  When we first moved here, the Photographer gave me a kitten for my birthday and Shea was her first born.  Call me silly or call me stupid but I think of Shea as my "grandbaby".  He was all I had left of his mother - who had a stroke and needed to be put down several years ago.  I have taken the dogs out myself every day and scoured our property from one end to the other looking for him. But there is no doubt, I know he is gone and I am heartbroken.

A Blessed Day

The Tomb Is Empty!

He Is Risen!

My Redeemer Lives!

Gifts From My Sister

My sister gives the best gifts.  Her gifts are always given from the heart.  And she knows me so very well.  I would much rather receive something small and full of meaning than something show stopping and expensive. 

I had casually mentioned during one of our conversations that I was searching for the "perfect" frames for Momma and Daddy's high school senior portraits.  She gifted me with ones that were exactly what I had in mind for my birthday.  The frames sit in my family room on either end of the sofa.

This past Christmas she made me cry.  I opened the wrapped box to find this tea light candle holder.  Although in the photo it is hard to read, the inscription says "In Loving Memory . . . of A Life So Beautifully Lived . . . A Heart So Deeply Loved"

A Growing Puppy

Buck

Buck is the newest addition to our family.  He will be 8 months old next week and, boy, is he a handful!  Thankfully, Bear is ever ready to help with the training.  I noticed when we first brought Buck home that his legs seemed awfully long and his feet were very large for his age.  The vet immediately noticed as well, proclaiming that he would be an exceptionally large adult.  How big exactly? I tentatively asked.  Much larger than Bear was the response I received!

Bear is a huge dog - weighing in at 130 pounds of pure muscle and sweetness.  Buck is expected to top out at approximately 150 pounds!  I realized yesterday evening that Buck is already "taller" than Bear - thankfully, he realizes that Bear is the alpha male and doesn't push his luck too often. 

Training is going fairly well.  German Shepherds are notorious for their intelligence and my dogs are no exception.  As I said, Bear is a tremendous help with training but Buck, for all his hugeness, is still a puppy.  Yesterday, he came through the house with one of the Photographer's shoes.  I gently scolded him and told him to find something else to play with.  He obediently dropped the shoe and trotted through the house - only to return with one of the Photographer's camera lenses!  There is never a dull moment in this house lately!

Missing Him

Donald Ray - My beloved Daddy

Today is my daddy's birthday.  He would have been 80 years old.  He passed away December 21, 2007 with his family by his side.  Adoring him until the very end.  Adoring him still. 

I am the youngest of 5 children.   The baby (there are 11 years between me and my next oldest sister). The princess.  The ultimate daddy's girl.  My dad was (and is) the wisest, wittiest, most compassionate, hard working and loving man I have ever known.

He entered the hospital for complications from asbestosis on December 12th.  When he realized that he would not be coming home for Christmas, he instructed my momma to buy his 4 daughters heart lockets as his last Christmas gift to us.  She gave us our lockets on Christmas Eve along with a message from Dad: "You are my heart".  I wear my necklace every day.  (My brother received a watch - and the message that Dad would love him until the end of time).

 
That is the essence of my dad.  The man whose family was the most important thing in the world for him. The man who could make everything better just by entering the room.  I told him once when I was in junior high school and had been through a particularly difficult day that no matter what went wrong - as soon as I entered through our back door I knew everything would be all right.  I told him I believed that our house was "magic".  He just smiled and wrapped me in a hug.  

And I truly did believe it - until the first time I entered the house after he was gone.  The house wasn't magic - Daddy's love was.  I hope everyone, at some point in their lives, gets to experience the unconditional love, the "knowing" that you are the most important person in the world to someone that I grew up with.

Most days now I speak of him with laughter.  Other days I can barely utter his name without dissolving into a puddle of tears.  It is very difficult for me to understand how the world - my world - can continue to exist without him in it. 

Well meaning friends told me that it would get easier with time.  It hasn't.  A very close friend lost her father over 10 years ago and I asked her - how much longer?  When will it get easier?  She tenderly replied that it never get easier - but you learn to live with it.  I am very slowly learning to live with it.

Granny's Quilt

Circa 1975 Quilt

My great grandma made this quilt for me when I was 7 years old.  It is hand pieced, hand quilted and knotted.  She kept a quilting frame set up in the corner of her family room  and she made a quilt for one family member as a Christmas gift each year. 

She "quilted her way down the list" making one first for her oldest child, then the 2nd, then the third and so on.  For her children, grandchildren and great grandchildren until everyone received their gift.  I am the baby of the family and she was nearly 90 years old when it was my year to get a quilt.

She kept her fabric stash in one of the upstairs guest rooms and I remember being in awe of so many beautiful fabrics in one place.  She let me choose the material for my quilt - helping with color choices as necessary.  I would play with fabric scraps under the quilting frame while she sewed.  We sang songs and discussed such important things as what we intended to wear to church on Sunday, whether we wanted to watch The Guiding Light (how I miss that soap opera) and what our favorite ice cream flavors were. 

I received my quilt for Christmas in 1975 and she passed away peacefully the following April.  It is beginning to wear and fray now but no matter - it is one of my most prized possessions.  I keep it in the family room, draped over the sofa.  Its beauty brightens up the room while it patiently waits for me.  Beckoning me with its softness and warmth on cool evenings.  Evoking precious memories of my beloved Granny daily. 

Pierce's Presentation

Pierce marching into "battle"
Photo "aged" in Photoshop
Courtesy of The Photographer

Pierce spent the day at the State Capitol.  He was involved in a "Living History" presentation to raise awareness and, hopefully, more funding for historical programs throughout the state.  He has been a history buff since the age of 5.  My husband and father in law are major history buffs as well.  Sadly, I don't know the difference between WWI and WWII.  History was never my strong suit in school.

My father in law was a Civil War "relic hunter" whose interest began when my husband was 5 years old.  He was tilling up new ground for a vegetable garden when he unearthed the remains of a civil war soldier!  While discussing the "find" with state authorities, his interest was piqued upon learning that the State of Virginia is virtually full of undiscovered relics such as bullets, belt buckles, etc.  Using a special type of metal detector, my father in law amassed quite an impressive collection before his death last year.  His will stipulated that all the relics were to be left to Pierce, whose own fascination with the Civil War began when Papa took him into the "relic room" and gave him a few relics as a birthday gift. 

Thus began Pierce's venture into the world of "living history".  At the age of 5, we began attending every single battle, presentation, etc.  At the age of 12, he joined his "regiment" although, due to regimental regulations, he had to wait another 4 years before he could carry a gun into "battle".  He and a few other reenactors spent the day discussing the importance of remembering our state's history and how "living histories" make the topic come alive and, hopefully, more interesting for school children.

Pierce's love of history has translated itself into a college double major of Political Science and History (with a concentration in the Civil War, of course).  To say I am proud of him would be such an understatement.

My Bear

Baron Nicholas Von Claws VI
"Bear"
Courtesy of The Photographer

My most faithful, loving and noble companion.  A Christmas gift from the Photographer 13 years ago.  It was complete and total adoration (for both of us) at first sight. The  finest dog I have ever had the pleasure of belonging to. 

A White German Shepherd.  My 130 pound lap dog. My white knight and protector - constantly at my side, whether I am awake or sleeping.  So very playful and gentle with children yet extemely ferocious if he senses danger.  Quite simply, the canine love of my life.